Being 4 months pregnant and working nearly full time has kept me pretty busy.
I had a lot I wanted to post about in that time so I'll go with what I can remember.
I've been a slacker. My passion for Starbucks hasn't exactly grown smaller. Yet I've noticed myself being okay with a drink going out not properly made. Or I'll see someone making a drink wrong(even after they were corrected) and not say anything. It's hard. Because I feel like I already said something and it's not my place. I've realized the only person in this situation that I can control is myself. The lack of care has left me sorely disappointed in myself. Howard Schultz shut all the stores down once to show every barista how to pull the perfect espresso shot. Smooth like honey, not fast running, and not slow dripping. And I've lost sight of why I do this. I'm trying to get back on track. I never want to use pregnancy as an excuse because there is never an excuse for laziness or carelessness. Starbucks is very important to me and the company has always treated me well. I'm especially thankful for our insurance at this point in my life. I'd be up to my eyeballs in hospital bills now if it weren't for Starbucks.
I want my future child to be proud of me.
Even if I'm "just a barista". If it's done with passion, there's no such thing as "just a...". It was easy to have passion at my old store because of who I was surrounded by. At this point I have to reignite what all my managers over the past 2+ years have taught me.
I'm incredibly thankful for the kindness that all of our new friends here continue to show us even if my stubborn social issues keep me from wanting to spend too much time with people. Everyone has been way too kind, and while I miss home, I know we're not alone here.
Speaking of, Neals birthday was yesterday. And unfortunately I had to work 1-9:30 for it. And the night before that I frantically went looking for a gift for him. Oops. I ended up with memory foam slippers(cause he always wears socks) which made me feel like we're a boring old couple who's been married for 30 years(when in reality it's been 1 year and some months) and a couple packs of magic cards and some red bull which helped remedy the first gift haha. However, he's wearing the slippers right now so I think he likes them. Happy birthday to my sweet husband who puts up with my crazy antics.
I've gotten back into makeup pretty fiercely. On Black Friday I went to Ulta and bought over $100 in makeup. Oops again. But now I have enough to last a lifetime. (Yet I still pick up every bit of clearance makeup at Walgreens). I've been learning new techniques and have improved a lot at makeup. While I don't think it's a career path for me, it's still one of the best feelings in the world to put on crazy makeup and take photos of it. I wouldn't mind taking some classes though. It's nice to have a hobby at least since I'm not working two jobs and 55 hours a week like I used to. While I'm still as exhausted working 35. So makeup has been a release for me lately. As I'm wearing blue lipstick.
We find out the gender in January. I am so anxious. It's so close yet so far! We're crossing our fingers for a little girl but whatever God gives us will be just fine. I'm honestly just ready to meet this baby and get over this dreadful period of life which is pregnancy. While I've been pretty lucky and haven't been sick much at all and haven't had any of the bad side effects, I'm still dead tired. And it's so frustrating when I can't drink a quad espresso or a red bull. I think I made it through the ugly phase of pregnancy cause most of the acne cleared up and my hair isn't drier than the Sahara like it was. Here's to being 17 weeks and sort of almost halfway there. Sigh.
Still not a Florida fan. I just can't seem to get a grip on what we're doing here. I imagine there's some big beautiful lesson God is trying to teach us. It seems to me like we're just struggling fiercely. We're working our butts off and still can't find an affordable place here. I'm trying to bring passion to this Starbucks but it's almost impossible. Our work schedules clash so church is hard. And hanging out with humans is hard cause I'm already drained from all the people I see at Starbucks everyday. I still miss Muggswigz and el campesinos and the dollar movie theatre. I miss Neals family and my family. The familiarity of my Starbucks store. Faith family. My cats. My friends. I know I can't judge this all based off of barely 3 months but it's wearing me out. I'm sure we'll figure it out.
We'll continue to work hard.
I'll be slinging lattes and doing online surveys.
Neal will wrap burritos
And even if this isn't what most consider success, I feel successful.
With the love of my life by my side, and our little future. ❤️
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